dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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