Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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