omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
