i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
