garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
