You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Me too!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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