I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
