Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
