..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
