My nipple is on Facebook.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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