You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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