I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
