Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
