And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
