he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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