The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
