She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
how do you play pong handcuffed?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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