He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
