Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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