Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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