I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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