So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
