my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
