Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
this will be a night to untag.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
