Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
