You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
