Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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