Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
