One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
