$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
