We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
