we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is classic penis vs brain.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
