I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
