you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
