If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
