Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
