This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
