hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
