am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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