I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
