Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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