just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
