scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
