i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
