made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
