didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
