we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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