Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
