yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
