well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
